sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
