If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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