Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
