I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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