I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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