Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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