i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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