so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
