at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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