Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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