Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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