ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
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She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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