you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize