just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
