oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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