I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
