i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
