i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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