Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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