How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
