it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
