so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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