Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
