About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again