I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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