Texts From Last Night

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.

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  (201): You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn. http://tfl.nu/vn8h
  Replies (12) Good night (3589) Bad night (1125)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.

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  (706): Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully. http://tfl.nu/qn1h
  Replies (119) Good night (12541) Bad night (1286)
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  (914): View more from New York

  just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix

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  (914): just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix http://tfl.nu/hrwb
  Replies (22) Good night (955) Bad night (3210)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.

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  (740): Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins. http://tfl.nu/qxz4
  Replies (39) Good night (8635) Bad night (1370)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.

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  (610): The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary. http://tfl.nu/0qxf
  Replies (19) Good night (3043) Bad night (6029)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him

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  (614): Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him http://tfl.nu/w6qf
  Replies (19) Good night (5316) Bad night (1244)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars

  (1-252): View more from North Carolina

  I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers

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  (252): I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars (1-252): I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers http://tfl.nu/w67j
  Replies (6) Good night (2176) Bad night (820)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?

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  (469): Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened? http://tfl.nu/ksd8
  Replies (12) Good night (779) Bad night (1959)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me

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  (770): Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me http://tfl.nu/jae3
  Replies (5) Good night (689) Bad night (1496)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA

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  (347): WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA http://tfl.nu/6u80
  Replies (5) Good night (1036) Bad night (558)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.

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  (952): He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy. http://tfl.nu/1isp
  Replies (5) Good night (1113) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes

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  (267): Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes http://tfl.nu/att1
  Replies (1) Good night (743) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  You went to a drug deal in a onesie.

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  (417): You went to a drug deal in a onesie. http://tfl.nu/7cu7
  Replies (3) Good night (1020) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...

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  (509): In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched... http://tfl.nu/ted8
  Replies (2) Good night (409) Bad night (303)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?

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  (631): Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/txst
  Replies (1) Good night (243) Bad night (457)

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