Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award