I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
They should really pass out barf bags in church
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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