2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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