Texts From Last Night

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  (905): View more from Toronto

  I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it

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  (905): I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it http://tfl.nu/0syl
  Replies (18) Good night (941) Bad night (2675)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours

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  (617): i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours http://tfl.nu/0tnj
  Replies (34) Good night (2588) Bad night (2597)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.

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  (850): Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me. http://tfl.nu/4nm9
  Replies (65) Good night (1759) Bad night (6962)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia

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  (202): i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia http://tfl.nu/b46k
  Replies (3) Good night (1426) Bad night (3386)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea

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  (630): just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea http://tfl.nu/jqzl
  Replies (10) Good night (794) Bad night (3931)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.

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  (847): He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours. http://tfl.nu/vgfj
  Replies (119) Good night (40686) Bad night (1959)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling

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  (727): it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling http://tfl.nu/kv01
  Replies (6) Good night (2609) Bad night (914)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?

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  (765): What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth? http://tfl.nu/fmc3
  Replies (13) Good night (2838) Bad night (823)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?

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  (+61): i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that? http://tfl.nu/m9eq
  Replies (6) Good night (2388) Bad night (809)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.

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  (708): I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure. http://tfl.nu/qn53
  Replies (2) Good night (1271) Bad night (443)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.

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  (701): Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single. http://tfl.nu/d9fj
  Replies (2) Good night (882) Bad night (942)
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  (212): View more from New York

  I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?

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  (212): I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin? http://tfl.nu/wy13
  Replies (5) Good night (1389) Bad night (1151)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?

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  (214): Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember? http://tfl.nu/njcl
  Replies (2) Good night (626) Bad night (938)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"

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  (302): Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite. (302): Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing" http://tfl.nu/v00f
  Replies (3) Good night (1138) Bad night (376)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs

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  (905): He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs http://tfl.nu/gppx
  Replies (4) Good night (583) Bad night (334)

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