The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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