we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize