Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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