Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
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