i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
