So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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