This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
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do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.