omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
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your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
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The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done