How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...