Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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