you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
What a dumb baby whore.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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