Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
His nipple licking is glorious
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