When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
