Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
