I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
