I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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