Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
nutella sex= disaster
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
