We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize