"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
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Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
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Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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