i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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