It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
