meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
