i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
