I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
