I'm sorry my penis didn't work
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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