im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
