I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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