hotel room ftw
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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