i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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