I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize