I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He has the fingertips of a God
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