Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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