Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
