you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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