I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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