this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
