OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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