Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
