I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
