I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Betty ford says i'm here all night
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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