why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
